I suddenly feel so paranoid everytime I'm not with Ben, or when my mum is not yet home, whenever i cross the road, see the road or things like that. I know of many incidents. My ex-boyfriend's cousin's family, another of his cousin, the two in the newspaper recently and sher's friend. It is somehow so surreal. It's such a cruelty in life and I can't bring myself to believe it all. And I'm always hoping it's not true and they were just lying. But I know it is not? I don't like this. At all. Not so much of losing someone but the cause in this case. Why? )= May they all be in peace and happiness. I love Ben and I don't ever want to lose him. I love my mum and I don't ever want to lose her. I love my sisters, Athena, Almeta and Crystal and I don't ever want to lose them. I love my grandma and I don't wanna lose her anytime soon. T_T I love my aunts and i don't wanna lose them anytime soon either. I love my uncle and cousins and I don't wanna lose them. I love Sherlyn, Serene, Wei Xian, Lina and Huiyu and I don't want to lose them. I love Phoebe, Michael, Nicholas and I dont want to lose them. I love my classmates in poly and I dont want to lose them. And I mean it. Please.