Okay! its been more than a month since my last post but heck hahaha. dont feel like blogging anymore so! wanted to delete this but cos it has memories and reminds me of how gross i was, i am not going to delete it but leave in the cyber space, free to roam. heehee. bye folks.

erm hello this is post one seven nine but i dont like this number so im going to post one again now.

sakura's.

Its time i moved.

something new.

hello everybody.

only time.

& I found out she has the same birthday as me. I suddenly feel a new affinity but its so near yet so far. so close but not at all. I've only met her once but somehow I just can't forget this. We were babies born on the same day. )=

I suddenly feel so paranoid everytime I'm not with Ben, or when my mum is not yet home, whenever i cross the road, see the road or things like that. I know of many incidents. My ex-boyfriend's cousin's family, another of his cousin, the two in the newspaper recently and sher's friend. It is somehow so surreal. It's such a cruelty in life and I can't bring myself to believe it all. And I'm always hoping it's not true and they were just lying. But I know it is not? I don't like this. At all. Not so much of losing someone but the cause in this case. Why? )= May they all be in peace and happiness. I love Ben and I don't ever want to lose him. I love my mum and I don't ever want to lose her. I love my sisters, Athena, Almeta and Crystal and I don't ever want to lose them. I love my grandma and I don't wanna lose her anytime soon. T_T I love my aunts and i don't wanna lose them anytime soon either. I love my uncle and cousins and I don't wanna lose them. I love Sherlyn, Serene, Wei Xian, Lina and Huiyu and I don't want to lose them. I love Phoebe, Michael, Nicholas and I dont want to lose them. I love my classmates in poly and I dont want to lose them. And I mean it. Please.

Ousz!

Sherlyn's inspiration comes from books and films. I think mine comes from anime. LOL Hataraki Man has inspired me. I loved that show. I'm quite sure music also inspires us, though. At least, for me. Tokyo Marble Chocolate was also very interesting. About love. But i guess, curiousity is my favourite. Asking questions. Yes, curiousity kills the cat, because some things are better off being unknown. Surely, it is better being curious than not at all? YES. Maturity was never easy. Could we study philosophy? (= But anyway, some anime arent all that worthless you know. Some anime characters really inspire you to be the same as them with those positive energy and attitude of theirs. Sherlyn must be the only friend I know to have gone through so much and still be cheerful =o=. I never said I loved life, but Ben tells me to not be so hateful towards life and love it cos it has him in it! Aww ^_^ Oh, we all have to go through bakabaka things in life. Reality sucks. I guess we all have to try :[ Que sera sera? We are freaking growing up! There's no time left! Carpe diem.. not exactly easy to do as to type it out. No time to be carefree. I've always wanted to nice and simple life with no worries.Probably impossible eh. Luxury is but Luxury. Isn't it the simple things in life that make you happy? Its the small things that counts. Yea, small, simple things make me happy, happiest.

HEART STATION.

I changed my mac's topcase! woohoo. Took 3 hours to change one topcase? -_- so i went back to school and went back again when its time to collect it. tiny crack at the side is now cracked no more! (= But, but, I'm scared of growing up! I don't know why it makes me slightly, and just so slightly uncomfortable at the thought of people my age getting driver's licenses and cars. Zomg.

Closet Full Of Love by Puffy.

TOGETHERNESS PLEASE LOL (: HAPPY, YES?

雨の中のメロディー

-mothers -jobs I want to thank my mother for having raised me as who I am today, and i am thankful to everything i had, have and experienced. I truly believe that a person and who they are are strongly affected by the environment they live and grow up in. It masks people's actual nature and make them become someone else, sometimes. And, I am glad to be who I am and am grateful for the environment I grew up in, from my primary school, my family and my grandmother's house where i spent my childhood. I guess it is especially important when you are young cos its where you learn from the most and absorb to make up your first self. And, I am grateful for my mother having brought me up and having given me many things others may not have had. Especially values. Values are extremely important and so is treasuring family. Anyway apart from this I was also thinking.. Where would I be when I'm 25? That's 7 years from now. zomg. Graduation. The song never fails to make me feel sadness and nostalgia. Secondary school. Past. Where all my friends would go, would be. "Could we survive it out there, could we make it somehow" Yea, I wonder too...Ohh, life. I feel like an emotional person. Mood swings plenty. Easily controlled by emotions. Emo sia. haha! *scrunches up my face* okay this is wordy. goodnight i think. ben=daisuki.

ishioni ikuyo!

ATE MONTHS one day and more! (= fanks for everything man. bestes everrr xoxo im sorry, but i love youu lolwow. random pic!

because a huge ass bomb just dropped on me.

fuck. ):

rants. just

YO. I, am too lazy to blog honestly. School so far is okay. Have got [camera & lighting], [hardware modelling-wts], [motion graphics & broadcast design], [scriptwriting] & [starting a business] as my IS module and extra diploma plus module, [principles of management]. Timetable is quite slack. Okay, now let's pray and hope Chanel can work hard and get through this semester in one piece!!! hahaha. oh, cheesy love. Am hooked onto 'Still Doll', the ending song from Vampire Knight. zomg. I love ben. He is uber nice to me but i always bully him and he still loves me. hahaha. Thank you! Yesterday was school then meet Sherlyn Wong Muffin @ Parkway cos she wanted to go Borders. Then to Simpang where we ate so much till we almost wanted to puke. One roti john that we didnt finish, one mashed potato which was super nice, one fries which was also nice. Portion was quite big. And one strawberry prata and a big mug of drink each. Die man. After that full until cannot walk man. Lol. Fine. Anyway. I've pretty much have got nothing else to say and am lazy to upload pictures so woohoo! enjoy your life guys! (=

omg.

Here, a sakura flower for ya'll to enjoy. My hair smells badly of smoke despite having washed it twice. I am having a headache too. Steamboat at Lina's house today was enjoyable- chatting, listening and eating, avoiding Butter, their dog, cos we are kinda afraid, and looking at the sleeping baby Adriel. (= gonna help sis at her race tmr. umm umm. Goodnight peeps.

Arrigatou.

YESTERDAY was apple@fms meeting with attending the year ones mac training to be kpo. then meet t1b2-nians as well as pass pammy the 18 year old her pressie. TODAY is where i feel sucky & have come to the conclusion im a terrible person and unkind person. prison me, please. oh and sereneeeee, you can see some japan photos in my facebook. (=

flavour of life

So you think it wasn't cold, & my shoe flew off my feet as I ran. The nerve of it.. rawr. (=

gray sky morning

Hello Humans. I'm back from Japan! But I'm too lazy to post any pics so the only chance you'll prolly ever get to see em is when you invade my mac or when I'm in a good mood to upload it somewhere wherever i feel itt. Anyway Im here cos sher said i should blog more. But man, life too boring loloolllolololol. BUT! today was good! Cos i met up with her at Tampines Mall and chilled at the Starbucks for ages. It rained, stopped, rained & stopped again while we were there, how's that? (= I missed her so! We're gonna be friends for ever, right? I'm not a lazy bum bum! I just don't have much to do before I die, just yet. And, thanks for the post-it stuck in my ez link card holder! hahaha i bet you put it in when i went to the Loo. Its so sweet ^_^ I'm a happy girl. I'm glad i've ever met you and that you live so near me. And i also want to say I'm very grateful for Ben cos he supports me( except in certain school stuff rawr!) alot and stuff, well in short he's practically it. Thanks for being nice! (: im gna cry lol. yay yay yay. Okay post done lol! photo courtesy of, who else, sher muffin! (:

hello ello hum sup lo (hahaha wthhzzxoxo)

I love you lots yan ting. hahaha happy 7th month as of yesterday! (= or rather day before yesterday? ha Wanted to say that I saw a really kawaii boy boy in the bus this Tuesdie! Was taking bus 5 home from far east then saw this cutie pie prolly about 10 and above or something i dunno. haha small eyes jappie boy. (((=

aye*

Now that you got it what chu gon do about it, now that im your baby the things you promised me now i want, if im really your baby then share with me your secrets and all.* im (:

HELLO! (:

Today it Rained cats & dogs. Robinhood Nel braved through the rain with her hot pink umbrella and took the bus to meet Benedict Tan. Oh what a lucky man he is. HAHA. Went to AMK hub for some not so nice KFC. Hung around and flew off to meet Atiqah as the Muffin was late. *poof!* muffin appeared outta nowhere and we all also apparated to the Esplanade and listened and watched the malaysian band, Fern, play their stuff. They kinda nervous, sher said. Next band we waited for was Aussie peeps Violet, aye g'day mate. Pretty good stuff they have & Omg they did cover of Iris...... its the Love! the song la. man. ATQ headed home, me & shermuff headed to the Bedok pasar malam that both of didnt know who to ask to but turns out we both wanna go SO WE WENT. hahaha RAMLY BURGER!! thats prolly the only good thing plus the matching kiddy ring we bought for 50cents each. Cos the taiwanese sausage was not that great and the goreng pisang tastes like shit. Seriously. Anyways, had a good time with them!! esp. shermuff yeaaaa. yes ilbtoo.

Im Serious.

Today, a chinky woman sat beside me in the bus. She talked to me. Whyyyy?

i used to be my own protection-

but not now; cos my path has lost direction, somehow. i love ben! (: me class rocks always.

whyyyyy??

Why is mankind so shitty? Who or what has made mankind this way? Men or women, its all the same at the end of the story? No matter which way i look at it i can't find some form of answer. Why do things work this way in everything? Women complain men are all the same. At the end of the story, the women are no better. Gah, like why doesn't something work out? Why do human relationships have to be this way? eeks so what if its for - man, this is So pointless. -_- soz i got ahead of myself. i shall now retreat to a corner. thanks (:

This IS Sparta!!

math.s

Zhang xian sheng! You nin de bao fu! Nei yi ge zhang?! (x10) Calbee potato chips. Spa~ o*_*o A sleeping beauty; awakens. A princess; finds her unicorn. A wizard; waves his wand. A pirate; finds hidden treasure. A knight; slays the dragon. Hidden worlds, rediscovered. And all before the clock strikes midnight. N82- storytelling; redisovered. or something like that. my favourite ads. All i want is some family harmony. (: I dreamed i was missing; you were so scared. but no one would listen; cos no one else cared. i woke with this fear. am i lost, in my lies do i tell myself, i dont realise i see pain-i see need. DAY BEFORE I SAW A DEER. YESTERDAY I SAW A RABBIT. and today, YOU. ben, where's my 抱抱?

yea yea yea <3

Hi. This is an update. Enjoy. (:

im clingingggggg <3

lurfe. ermssss teeheehee. LOL eets the First Day of FEB people. rejoyce. (spastic face plus baby face.)

there will always be problems big or small, tall or short, fat or skeeny, in our lives. its part & parcel & experience. hold on stay tall. not so easy is it. not very difficult is it. breathe, breathe, breathe. The world will come to a still.

so lemme get this straight-

the fuzz when you're near. your head on my shoulder.

hahaha (:

strangers, friends, lovers, partners, associates.. they are all just names for people. what are they and why do we need them? why do we need to be close?

rawr.

i know im supposed to be doing work. but im freaking bored. i could puke. script is done 1.5 page. Get Down To Work You Fat Ass Slacker!! And STOP snacking!!!

a needless post

ELLO. many 3D Art sculptures, days spent with my love, days spent thinking, days spent passing it by. final projects all a-coming. Animation with teresa & muff. Art with teresa & muff. both of which i wonder what to do. Location production with beeg group. script of which i have yet to write. of which i have to think about. (maybe i'll do it tonight) Computer graphics individual. of which i may collapse. )= IAC my worst fear. Issues with great hope it'll be fine with the final assignment, of topic have yet to be decided. OH MY GOURD. GIVE ME TOPICS PLEASE! LIKE WHERE'S THE CR8TIVE JOOSE?? =/ Ok, so this is school. chaos and such. for the next 3-4 weeks. On a separate note, wanna find a job. i think i might find some waitress thing? one month only or smthg. cos like, mid march got Japan trip (woohoo) but results a-coming on 14mar. O_O!!! and i seriously fear for enrolling in IS mods cos i'll be in Jap. Open House for NGEE ANN on thurs to fri, 17th to 19th; 11am to 6pm. can't do saturday sadly cos there's production i think. and fri got class 90% the open house time. so im gonna go thurs i guess. At soundstage. gimme strength. thank you unknown, mysterious, unidentified thing.

colliddde

forgot to say iac group and i checked out the new student lounge at 72 today. lots of space, tables & chairs. i like the chairs! got a couple of variety. there's a games room somewhere and two reading rooms. the reading room's chairs are hot. check it out cos it has some leopard print lookalike. lol! but beware of toppling over. hahaha. i like this really cute chairstool thing but it occured to me that it looked kinda wrong when i was about to snap a pic of it. hahaha... pics are of reading room.

if its love that keeps us breathing

Hey hey hoO! mood is pretty alright today (: yesterday was sorta sucky. The thought of going back to school was pretty unnerving =/ Thankfully, today is passable. I really hope IAC will go well. Please, please, please. Also, i hope i can manage CG okay. Perhaps i should go find help for maya... @_@ I don't think i should change courses. Firstly, it would mean having to go through Year 1 again although if i go to FSV, we only need to take about 4 modules. It would mean kinda wasting another year for 4 modules, and everything just gets delayed a year. Even worse, paying another 1000+ -_-ll and!! I'm not even sure if i'd do better in FSV, and!! even get in or apply. Well, i guess if im not even veyr motivated to apply, it just mean i shouldnt. I don't mind being in DVFX, only thing is- i'm not very good at such techie stuffs and software. pray for me. i may not go very far. But i do intend to work after poly. heh heh. I haven't 'found myself' and my real path in life, as in interest? Which is really kinda bad cos i'm getting older. i bet 90% of us out there haven't either. muahha. Can You Believe It, its Freaking 2008 hahahaaa. Can you believe im gonna be 18 years old in... gosh, c. 11months LOL! nel stop dreaming hahaha. oh, and Can You Believe It gonna be Year TwO in April omgomg. I hope new dvfxians come in teh heh heh. :p Okay so today had same ol' contemp issues then grp discussion for iac. tried to find mr.jonet but i guess we went too late and he'd left for class. Accompanied sher 154 then 8 to tampines inter. Chilled and chatted till 5 30, that was like, for two hours. hahaha. love my muffin. then homed. hope your leg gets well soon. that big bump is horrifying. got blue black i swear. may you not need operation ;) hope ben ben gets enough rest & sleep. not fall sick, be healthy and cute, no stress and get through final parts of sem 2 fine. love all!